It's a Wrap

Reflections on the year: the good, the not so good, and finding a common thread.

Every year around Christmas I do this thing where I look back at the last 12 months and take stock. What went well, what didn’t. I write it all down in my journal, which is how I sort everything, and I find the practice helpful to set myself up for sailing or stumbling (depends on the year) into January with more focus and hope.

I’m very much a glass-is-half-full kind of girl, so let’s start with what went well. There was a lot this year, and I’m truly grateful.

First up, the nascent NGO project, of course! We’re starting to get organized so work can begin in full when I get back from India, but I am thrilled at the potential positive impact, as well as excited about the prospect of stretching myself and my capabilities. Personal growth is practically guaranteed, and all in service of a mission I care deeply about.

Joining the board of Arts South Dakota. ASD is an active and effective statewide arts advocacy and education nonprofit with a board of diverse, enthusiastic creatives and leaders. I’ve never been on a board before, and it’s a three year term so I’m guessing I’ll learn and grow with this commitment as well. I get to make new connections while doing work I’m passionate about. Perfect.

A deepened in-person experience with the National Park Foundation, which not only has led to a deepened commitment to supporting and learning about the park system, but I find myself also making new connections and new friends, even.

I started studying for a holistic coaching certificate with a focus on social impact. Coaching  focuses on the future, and the communication skills are positive and empowering which should make me a better communicator, educator, friend and daughter, and human. I’ll share more about this next year, and though I don’t plan to do individual coaching, I will do some of that to get credentialed by the international certifying organization. My goal is to expand my skillset and also do group coaching later on.

I moved my blogging here to Substack, and I’m already in love with the platform and community of creators. So much talent! It cheers me to see the community that has grown up with me and my writing over the years getting reengaged, and my dream for this is that not only am I sharing what I’m thinking about and working on, but that we hear from you about what you’re up to. And, a girl can dream, maybe you all even start talking to each other and making connections. That would be fabulous.

New clarity around my work and purpose. After a long dry spell, I can see next steps, am motivated to do the work, and am excited about my life again. I have to say, I’m relieved. The last few years have had me feeling quite at sea, unsure of where I was going, derailed. The lesson is keep the faith, even in dark times, and know that change will come.

So I’m calling 2023 a banner year, and noticing a mostly common denominator: community. I’ve been craving it, especially since I moved to a new town, Covid hit, etc. but who knew, I’ve been manifesting it all year. That’s exciting.

So let’s get to the one thing that didn’t go well: the physical shape I’m in.

I know, I know, I should be grateful that this body, despite two active diseases, is carrying me through every day with comfort and ease, and I am. BUT. I had an eating disorder as a young woman, and after that let up I had zero problem with my weight up until a few years ago, and it’s been a struggle ever since.

Back in the day, if I gained a couple pounds I’d eat salad for dinner for a week and voila, back to my lean self.

I even remember what I jokingly referred to as the Wine Diet, where instead of eating food for dinner I’d have a couple glasses of wine and call it a day. The resulting weight loss was the same, and the “diet” was also way more fun than salad. Though I do love salad! But payback is a bitch, and though it was fun it wasn’t sustainable, and hello, over time that seemingly benevolent wine habit can turn into a tyrant and you’ve got to deal with it. (I am dealing with it, btw, so no need to do an intervention. :) )

Obviously, the way I eat has to change, and for the first time I’ve been thinking in terms of nourishing myself and my sturdy body, more than what has fewer calories. After some yo-yoing I am starting to figure it out, but man, it is slow progress.

What’s been even more challenging is the despair I’ve felt about how out of control my body seems. It probably started with the dual diagnosis of kidney disease and LAM - the betrayal! I’ve taken such good care of you, physical body! WTF? But it’s also just getting older. Sigh. My (our, for women, so often) self esteem is apparently way more tied to how I look than I was aware of, which is not a good or comfortable place to be. But, onward.

Next week, I’ll talk about what I want more and less of in 2024, so stay tuned.  But also, what about you? Anyone want to share something that went well or didn’t in 2023? I’d love to hear.